


Shake

by Saylee



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Possibly Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 06:51:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saylee/pseuds/Saylee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Rimmer glitches</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shake

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in response to a conversation about the possibility of Rimmer having projection glitches. I imagine it takes place sometime around Series V.

Since the introduction of the light bee, Rimmer's limbs were no longer in the habit of wandering off on their own, and there was no longer any chance of his ending up with the wrong arm, voice or breast. Which was a relief, really.

The bee was three million years old, though, and even the best technology could deteriorate in that time. The Jupiter Mining Corporation did not have the best technology, so sometimes Rimmer glitched. His image would waver or snap, or his whole projection would go the wrong colour; sometimes he fell right through boundaries his program should have recognized. It was infuriating. It was undignified.

It was annoying as all hell, thought Lister, sipping a beer milkshake and watching a fizzling Rimmer pace around the bunkroom, ranting, because _it was unfair, wasn't it, and the glitch wasn’t righting itself fast enough, and he couldn't even lie down and wait it out, could he, because the only boundaries his bee was currently recognizing were floors, and Lister you gimboid, what are you doing?_

What Lister was doing was reaching into the hologram's chest to grab the malfunctioning bee, switching him off and giving it a good shake. Well, kicking TVs worked, didn't it? If only you could mute Rimmer like a TV. He switched the bee back on, tossing it in the air as Rimmer reappeared, staggering and clutching at the wall behind him.

"What the smeg do you think you're doing, miladdo?" he demanded. "I felt that! You can't just shake me around any which way like I'm some kind of toy."

Lister shrugged, unconcerned, and went back to his milkshake. "It worked, d'innit? You're not fizzling anymore."

"What?" Rimmer looked down at his body, looked at the wall he was leaning against, and patted himself down for damage. "Well." He cleared his throat. "I'll let you off the hook this time, Lister. But don't think this means you can go sticking your grotty hands into my projection and all over my light bee whenever you feel like it."

Lister ran his straw around the bottom of his glass, sucking up the end of the milkshake with a loud slurping sound. "Wouldn't dream of it." He tipped his chair back and grinned as the hologram spluttered in indignation.


End file.
